KimsNotHome,
Welcome to SR. I'm sorry for what brings you here, but glad you've found us.
^^^ Great advice on that post above. I'm in Alanon also, and it's been a life-saver for me.
Regarding that I don't know factor...
I've had many "I don't know" moments, especially with alcoholism in the family and my own recovery from that. So many times I really do. not. know. Then I work my program, take the next right action, sit & wait in the comfortableness (instead of reacting/responding/having to constantly do something), and eventually clarity comes.
I'm currently content with not knowing on many levels. In that, I'm free to work on myself and as I do, I start knowing.
Ironically, before working a 12 step program I *knew* the answers to so much in my life. I thought I was right and I could bull-head my way through and make things work. Now I don't know about a lot of things, but I'm happier and more content than ever. It's just as counter-intuitive as everything else I've found about addictions and recovery.
