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Old 10-05-2015, 10:03 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Stung
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
I don't live with him. He doesn't try to control money. He attends AA daily, he goes to therapy weekly. On paper he's pretty golden and that's what a judge cares about. It's very likely that he'll get a decent sized amount of custody, and even if he didn't get a sizable amount of custody up front all of the provisions of custody that I could have put in place, such as supervised visitation are temporary. The courts want children to be with their parents, whether they're drunks or not.

With that taken into consideration, let's say he has them for a weekend and gets very drunk when he has them. What's to stop my daughter with food allergies from eating something that could kill her (dairy, eggs and soy all put her into anaphylactic shock and at least one of those ingredients are in nearly every processed food)? Who would inject her with an epipen if she needed it and the only adult around was either drunk or passed out. Additionally, my children aren't passed around from one home to another right now.

I want out of this relationship but me getting out of the relationship doesn't actually put my children in a better environment - only me. It would actually make it worse for them. It would be less predictable and less routine. Something that is very important for my older daughter.

When at least one of my daughters is old enough to inject my youngest with an epipen (to know when and how to use it) I'll revisit this again. For now, it's just not the best decision for them. Without the food allergies, yes, it's probably very rarely given advice. I was told that I COULD absolutely divorce him now but it was not advised considering that I'm already getting pretty much everything that I want anyway.
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