I feel like rambling, so if you're not up for a long one, skip.
Day 6 here. Geez, feels like it's been about 2 weeks. Doing good though. Went into town to run some errands today, and same as yesterday, ended up having to hold back tears. I don't know, I guess just out there watching everyone with their family & friends, smiling, sober, content, and just living their lives. Then there's me... I just end up thinking about how much of my life I've wasted behind the bottle, and it overwhelms me a little.
Life is short, what the hell was I thinking? I've always tried to put my day-to-day life in perspective of what will I thinking on my death bed? Because at the end of the day, that's what counts the most. I want to die happy, fulfilled, with loads of good memories, and a huge sh*t eating grin on my face.
Now that my days are 10 times as long due to sobriety, I decided to brush up my Thai language skills. I can speak enough to get around without problem, but not really enough to have a fluent conversation. I can converse, but it's always a bit of a struggle.
So I bought some DVDs I like. I rip them, then format them in a way so the movie is in Thai, with both Thai and English sub-titles at the top & bottom. When watching and a word / phrase comes up I don't know, pause, look it up, and copy it down for later memorization exercises. Works good.
Anyone else get OCD during sobriety? Was putting groceries away, and geez... now all my spices and boxes of ziploc bags have to be front facing, sauce packets are organized by size and name, etc. heh, that didn't happen when I was always drunk.
Weighed myself today, and 72kg. Geez, no good. That's about 159lbs, so not horrible, but wouldn't mind losing a good 8kg. This weight is considered normal in the West, but fat for here.
Day 6 though, so danger zone for me, because I'm feeling good now. Won't drink today or anything, and just having a green tea now (picked up 100 packets of it today
), but I know I need to do something with my time now, or else I will relapse. Not sure what though. This isn't exactly a thriving metropolis filled with things to do.
Wish I could get into town after 6pm, but oh well. Wouldn't mind dating, but have to get my teeth fixed first. Nobody decent is going to want to date me with these choppers, unless they're in it for money. Aside from that, I'm actually a decent looking guy. It's just my teeth are a bit of a horror show. I don't know, I'll figure it out.
Ok, I'm done. Sorry for rambling, but I warned you at the beginning Made the craving pass though.