So tonight is the first night of my weekly time without my kiddo. She'll be coming over tomorrow for a bit (to clean her darn room) cause she doesn't have school for two days (no idea why).
I have not been doing the alcohol shuffle at all so being alone isn't quite as daunting...but its lonely. I've got stuff to do during the days but its the nights that kill me. I think a movie tomorrow night or a Refuge Recovery meeting...I'm just kind of scared to go. I think I might take myself out for a meal somewhere near by the meeting....not sure why that will help but it feels like it might. I'll have to come up with something for Friday night. Friends would be nice...but, well, there aren't any. And actually, I don't really know what I'd do with one if I had one. Play human being I guess.
My meeting for the volunteer job went really well so I should be starting that next week. At least I'll have some contact with new people. Kind of excited.
I had a very strange flash back today....caused a brief but intense anxiety attack (I have PTSD and GAD). I forgot my 80 yr old mothers birthday and something just snapped....flashbacks of abuse as a child. These things are scary. I was also reading in the mental health thread last night, that directed me to Pandora (a site for victims of sexual abuse) and I think that might have stirred things up. I'll be staying away from that. Sometimes there simply is no way to sort certain events. They just have to be packed away and released. The anniversary of my husbands pretty brutal death, that I witnessed, is 10/31. That can be a tough one. I'll have to have a major plan for that. Maybe I'll just check myself in to the mental ward in advance
Ok, that's not a plan...
Hang in there everyone...September is in the BAG!