Cm7es

This is going to be a long post but I am going to make it as short as possible.

I met my ex boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 20. We were together just 4 months short of almost 5 years. My ex struggled with addiction throughout our relationship with pills specifically roxycodine. To make a very long story short I gave up everything for him and somehow managed to get my life together and be successful in many ways. I had a full time job I went to school full time and was a 4.0 student. I was his biggest support system. I supported him emotionally, mentally, financially every single way more than even his own family. I truly did love him and I believed in him and what he was capable of. I even broke up with on 2 occasions because I thought it was the only way he would help himself. Needless to say it was never for too long.

It started to get really bad around 3 years. He had started to get in trouble with the law and his addiction was getting bad in that year he cheated on me with a very "good" friend whom had never met him prior to us dating or during our relationship. I "won" him back, yes because after that I had lost all respect for myself. Later that year some other random girl whom he claims he knew for a long time started to come in the picture and started things up again. Right after that he was arrested on a warrant and was in jail for a month before going to a rehab 4 hours away each way. He called me constantly in jail, I had paid so much money to talk to him. He was in rehab for over 9 months and he came home and was in a sober house for another 6. 2 months after this he broke up with me) I had gained weight I was a complete mess and he had finally gotten himself better and didn't want me anymore. Prior to this the initial dilemma of him going away my grades started to slip and I couldn't keep the facade going for much longer. I dropped out of school after he got out of the sober house and then a month later he broke up with me.

There a lot of details I'm leaving out but I felt used I spent more then just time invested in him. Money, emotions, everything. I would drive to pick him up just for a weekend. He would borrow money constantly from me after recovery (and not for drugs) and I would give it to him in fear that he'd break up with me. All of a sudden he didn't want me. I became the "crazy' one and it was all my fault. He wanted me around 24/7 from day 1 and I of course started to become crazy in my own head when he didn't want me around, because how do someones feelings change like that.

I spent almost every single day with him, and it wasnt by my choice. I lost friends and I had no social life. After he broke up with me I had no contact from him for 6 months. I was doing great tho I was getting where I needed to be and I finally realized I wanted to be alone. I lost a lot of healthy weight, got accepted into a great school, started to rekindle my friendships. Life was great but I still sometimes perserverated on how things ended as he broke up we me over the phone. A lot of questions were left unsaid. He then contacted me through social media because I had blocked his number and I was strong at first but he pulled me right back in. Saying I love you and all that.. I started to get a little stir crazy and I admit I would kind of get crazy with him. He told me he didn't want me again. But every time I tried to get the truth from him he'd say I do love you I just dont want a relationship its not you. I had a meltdown changed my number for the first time ever and started my new school and new life. Even I had my "relapse" and it was him that was my relapse. A month later it was his birthday and I figured I should wish him a happy birthday and I did. Lasted about a week of us talking and he finally said the words "i dont love you" that was about 3 weeks ago and I haven't talked to him since. I've been consumed by other unexpected events with my life and my families so Ive been ok for the most part.
I'm 22 years old I have my whole life ahead of me. He's now 26 and honestly he does not have much to offer at all. I would never be with him again and don't have plans on it. I'm realizing my worth and loving myself for the first time in a long time.

I am in recovery myself and not from drugs but from the relationship. I just want to know if this is typical of people who are recovering from addiction. Or that he never cared and he never loved me. My question is, do you think he is going to try again? I really just need closure I have to an extent but I'm a factual person I like to hear other peoples experiences and stories.

Sorry for the scatter brain at the moment. My work related injury was a head injury and I am recovering from a concussion.