Had a bad night. Found out my store is staying open but was kind of shocked that they are closing 100 more stores. That's 127 in total. 27 was the initial list, we we're led to believe it'd be about 60 more and none in our state or Washington. They're closing a bunch in WA and Oregon, and all the California, Nevada, Arizona stores. One is a Safeway in Springfield (Springtucky) which was a surprise to no one really but still --hitting close. Found out I was closing 3 nights this week and had split days off on the schedule. 2 of the guys I work with tried to calm me down right when I walked in and saw it by giving me his opening shift and the other offering to work one of my closing shifts, so that was nice. I know my mgr. has to write the schedule 2 weeks in advanced and we didn't know what one of our guys would be able to work because he hadn't registered for college yet but- I was still shocked that he would do that to me. It just made me morose that I didn't go out and apply to places before an entire other store closed in our area--that's a lot of people to compete with. It made it worse to see a job come up in my email (glass door) that I would love to take but I'm just not prepared to apply. I had already resigned myself to not looking until the spring but I guess I'm regretting that decision. I also need to stay at my store until my son can get his wisdom teeth pulled in January though and that's a huge priority--because of my alcoholism I neglected taking my son in. He's 24 but high functioning autistic. I've had horrible sugar cravings this week--the only thing that made me stop cramming any available sugary item down my throat was googling sugar cravings and finding some posts on the sober recovery board. My anxiety was building last night and I managed to calm myself down a little and fell asleep out of pure exhaustion, kept waking up then finally got up about 3 am and was on the internet until 6 or so. Did find an email from my diary.com (which I get very rarely) so made a horrifying long, raw ugly entry. Don't know if it helped or not but I might try more regular entries as they say the health benefits are mostly if you write daily. Am feeling very dizzy and woozy today and need to go work out for muscle building but think it's a bad idea. I did manage 2 strength training sessions this week and have had plenty of cardio. I might make this a movie day instead. I have a veritable mountain of laundry to do as well...Did manage to do a drop in yoga session this week which probably saved me from complete meltdown as other areas in my life are not improving in the 4 months I've been sober-but I don't need bore anyone with that BS. I am hanging in there-- felt ultra guilty about taking a dose of rescue remedy last night that is 27% alcohol, but the dosage is just a tiny dropper full under the tongue. I also have a little old girl cat who is of an unknown age but at least 15 (probably more) who is having kidney failure--it is heartbreaking, she is a dear thing. She's always been one that's 'mine', I rescued her from being euthanized - she was taken from a hoarder who kept 27 cats stacked up in carriers in the van he lived in with a woman, 2 dogs and some ferrets. The back of the van was a mountain of feces.The cats all came from 2 cats he was allowed to keep after being busted before and most had deformities. I begged to take her--only 4 weren't euthanized. She's and odd little thing but has been pretty healthy--thin, tiny, and her claws will grow into her paws if you don't trim them but ok. It's kind of come as a shock because she's spent most of her summer out in our catfenced back yard so we didn't know anything was going on until she peed on our bed several times. She probably doesn't have long but I'll do my best to take care of her until it's time. She likes the special kidney support food so that's good and I made her her own spot in the laundry room so she's stress free and she loves it-there's classical music, a feliway plug in and the whole bottom shelf of a bookshelf with blankets for her to sleep. Husband and I have been at each other because of her of course--we're both upset and are arguing over care. He'll come around though, I know what's best for her. Sorry for the rambling thanks for your time if you did read--better get off now...Susan