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Old 09-24-2015, 09:57 AM
  # 292 (permalink)  
nyala
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
Hello all and best wishes from Africa.

Just checking in to stay accountable and say thanks to everyone who has posted. I have managed to check in but not post every day.

Except yesterday. I woke up today realsung that I had not thought about alcohol at all during the previous day. And also, neither had I checked in with SR.

Although on the face of it this is a 'good thing', it makes me nervous. I have a feeling I am being led into a state of complacency, which could leave me vulnerable to some unexpected trigger.

I would be interested in the views of you undies with longer periods of sobriety under your belt. I am on day 110 , so that's 15 weeks.

Two other things worth noting:

1. I am starting to realize the enormity of this undertaking. I'm truly happy to keep walking this sober path with all the rewards it will surely bring - but I'm sort of open jawed with trepidation when I consider the equally certain terrible consequences wee I ever to pick up again. It's like walking safely a few yards away from a cliff edge with a string blustery wind blowing me towards the drop. Safe, but not secure.

2: I am tired. As in dog tired. Shattered. I think this is normal too at this stage, but I would love to wake up rested again. Some mornings I feel like I have s hangover ( although this disappears quickly, unlike e real hangover).

We had friends over for lunch today and they brought a gorgeous bottle of wine. There was polite encouragement for me to share half a glass, even a sip which " surely can't do you any harm". For a short while I did entertain the though that perhaps I may be this special person who actually can moderate. ... Obviously this is AV talking, but I need to take care.

So this is me committing to checking in more often. I need to remind myself that I am in the very early stages of recovery and only got here with the help and support of SR.

Thanks for listening and thanks for being here friends.

Fradley

Last edited by nyala; 09-24-2015 at 10:02 AM. Reason: Fat fingers, tiny phone.
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