Am I really here...again
I keep asking myself how did I get here again? Why is this happening?
I was here several years back when my husband of 10 years relapsed after many years of sobriety. Truth is he was very sick and I learned that sobriety didn't equal healthy. Hardest thing I ever did was separate from him, but I did out of necessity and desperation. His disease progressed fast and he died one night in his sleep. Left me a widow at 32 years old with 2 young kids.
Fast forward...I rebuilt my life. I found myself again. I found peace. I helped my children heal. Truth is I left my career in a well paying corporate position because I was still broken inside and my kids needed me. I got into a new relationship. I got pregnant and now have a 1 yr old, 8 yr old and 11 yr old. I'm engaged to be married, but the truth is things are bad. He is an alcoholic and pothead and I'm here yet again! He promised me to take care of me and wanted me to stay home with the children. At least last time I had a well paying job. This time I'm in a more vulnerable position.
Sigh...