ARGHHHH!
Just had a phone conversation from hell with my mother (massive alcoholic). 90 minutes of her mumbling, slurring, forgetting I was on the phone, stopping mid sentence because she forgot what she was going to say, stopping mid story and talking about totally random things like curries when we were talking about why my sister is having her kids taken off her! And it was 7am over there, so she's not drunk just yet, this is simply the effects of alcohol abuse for 30 years. My youngest was trying to make as much noise as possible and it was hard enough to hear mother as it was because she's lost her false teeth and can't talk properly at the best of times and can't, for some STRANGE reason, figure out that she needs to put the mouthpiece near her mouth and not half way up her cheek so I can HEAR her!! ARGH!
I was so frustrated I was literally screaming inside whilst trying to maintain my composure and ask mum, for the millionth time, to repeat what she just said because I didn't understand/couldn't hear. Can't let her know I was getting frustrated because I know it will just upset her so I was just clenching my fists so bloody tight i've cut them with my nails!
And the REALLY stupid thing? I want a drink so badly. I am craving one so much. I want 2! Not one, 2! I want to drink and pass out, I actually want to, after hearing the effects of what alcohol has done to my mother, I still want it.
How absolutely insane is that.
I'm not going to. I just had a good cry, let it all out and I am going to make my cuppa.
Urgh.
Sorry for the vent. I have no one else I can vent to lol