Leshar, I can't say much more than the lovely posts already from everyone here about your sadness about how you treated Larry. You know I have regrets about my ex too, and even though he's still alive - of course I'm in the same boat of probably never being able to say I'm sorry, and wishing I hadn't frittered our time away by drinking excessively when I knew he had concerns.
It's good to cry these things out. Of course you are emotional, you are cleaning out things that represent your life with Larry. In time, you still have much good you could do with your life. You and Larry are still a team....he can still inspire you to maybe do something in honour of him. You can still make a difference in this world because you knew him and loved him. I really believe that.
But when the tears come, yes, cry.xx