Good morning. I'm a bit late on today. I decided to get in work and blast out as much as I could today. It's been an unproductive week so far with my head being a bit all over after the weekend. Massively busy week though with the kids activities so no time for a drink even if I wanted one.
Someone said (sorry I can't remember the name) they didn't know why they wanted to drink some of the time. We all know that negative emotions like depression, anxiety, anger, low self worth are all triggers for many people. Especially for me I was a drinker from my first taste because I drank to avoid not to enjoy. But aside from these obvious things, boredom is a massive. If we were coming home after work or getting up at the weekend to something exciting, having a drink wouldn't even cross our minds.
I was at my worst about 9 years after drinking heavily from the minute I was old enough but having my middle son who is nearly 8 stopped me because I wouldn't drink whilst pg and I was pg again with my youngest when he was only 5 months old so in a way I was forced into stopping. I've had binges since then, some of which have lasted a few days and were terrible but on the whole I have not drank much at all. Before then it was a almost daily thing -how I got through university I'll never know!!
I've been starting to feel low again these last few months and I'm struggling to lift myself up which I think is why it's happeneing more often again and I want to stop it before I end up back where I was. My life is busy, I have taken up hobbies, new friends etc and my kids take up much of my time but I am losing interest and finding it hard to just get through the day. I've stopped doing things because I just can't be bothered. I get up looking forward to bedtime but then I'm awake in the early hours. It's making me wonder if it's time to start looking for more - something else, something to get excited about!! Trouble is with hardly any free time and no money I have no idea where to start!