Originally Posted by
Cloel 
For now, I feel alcohol is the only way to block it out. Even my child hugging me makes my skin crawl. Sometimes it all feels too much, you know?
I totally understand this. What I went through, I find it hard being touched by anyone, even my kids. I have pushed myself every day since they were born to hug and kiss them and make it seem natural. Having my 11 year old sit by me and cuddle up to me literally, like you said, makes my skin crawl. I want to shrink into myself. I can feel myself getting irritable inside because I just want her to go away and stop touching me.
It makes me so sad to know that she has probably noticed over the years. She doesn't come in for those hugs as much as she used to.
I want better for her. I don't want to pass on these emotional problems to her, so it's my job to sort them out now, starting with me getting sober.
We can do this. We can!
I told my kids I wasn't drinking anymore, and that for me was it. I made her a promise and I'm not going to let her down.
Alcohol is never the answer. I realise that now. It may block it out for a while, but it's just making things worse for you and your family in the long run.
You need to be strong and fight this, and we will all help you along the way.
Like the others have said, when those cravings hit, wherever you are, stop, even if its in the middle of the street, and log in here on your phone, come talk to us.
