Originally Posted by
Frickaflip233 
Hi Cloel
I'm sorry you slipped. I think, because of your son (and you too of course) you need some additional help. Maybe look into counseling, IOP, AA...something to add to your recovery. The truth is, generally alcoholics don't quit for others....that can motivate but the desire to stop has to be organic within the alcoholic. Otherwise it won't stick. I know several people that have lost their children. It is horrible...and worse for the child. Hang in there. You can do this.
Thanks Frikaflip. There's a SMART recovery group that's starting nearby in October, the only problem is their groups are in the evenings and I've nobody to mind my son. I was a HCP for nearly 15 years and that put me off AA.
I think I'm only starting to feel the effects of 15 years of physical/emotional/s**ual abuse has had on me. I'm on a waiting list for trauma counselling but it's going to take at least another 9 months before that starts. For now, I feel alcohol is the only way to block it out. Even my child hugging me makes my skin crawl. Sometimes it all feels too much, you know?