Sometimes its hard to draw the line between opinion and a judgment. In both situations you described I think I would feel the same as you. What I would suggest is that you draw boundaries with your friend re: discussion of her current BF. This is something I have had to do with a couple of friends who are in toxic relationships. The endless b!tching about a partner is not something I want to hear. I am open to discussions and we all need to talk about things - yet when the discussion is a constant circle of complaining, asking opinion (or not), then complaining some more its very draining. The ups and downs can mirror our own experiences and own patterns of staying in bad relationships and can be a trigger to bad memories and our own poor decision making.
Recently I have been in lengthy discussion with a lifetime friend regarding her dysfunctional situation with the father of her child, his failure to pay child support, and the resulting trauma their behavior is causing their child. What I decided after many, many discussions is that the situation was getting to me - and that she really doesn't want advice, she really doesn't intend to do anything about it, and she would talk about it 24/7 if I were available/willing. In the meantime I lost one of my animals we had to put her down this weekend and I (naturally) have been devastated. The sum total of her response has been 2 sentences in text maybe a total of 20 words, then immediately back to her and her situation. This is not doing anything for me as far as a friendship. This is not what I call a friendship, and honestly I have better things to do than to have my brain picked for advice and strategy that will never be acted upon, and to hear the trauma that her child is going through. The relationship is unbalanced. In my time of need she was not there - in hers I have been there too much. Truthfully I broke my own boundary rule and stayed involved because of her child (rationalization), when it was apparent VERY early on that she wasn't going to do anything about it.
So yesterday I sent one text to her after the normal 10K word paragraphs of the antics of the day 'I don't want to discuss this anymore". Haven't heard a peep since.
Draw your boundaries with your friends. We codies generally not only pick sick partners, but also sick friends. I have drawn boundaries with many over the past couple of years and either they have remained and the friendship is healthier and flourishing, or they are gone.