Originally Posted by
Cloel 
Hi,
I was just wondering if I could join this thread?
I'm trying - yet again - to quit drinking. I can't believe I'm back in this place again. The biggest difference is my little boy is old enough now to notice and be affected by my drinking and it's really upsetting him (I'm a horrible 'mother' when I'm drunk
). I'm parenting by myself with no support.
I started drinking heavily again at the start of the summer. I've gone from drinking a bottle of wine once or two evenings a week, to 1-2 most evenings now. I hate myself now. My poor little boy says he is scared when I drink because I'm angry and shout at him. I have to stop this. I can't put him through this any more
Hi Cloel
It's great that you made it here. It's been 10 days for me and I'm feeling so much better. The horrendous shame that I felt on day 1 has subsided but I have kept enough of it to NEVER drink again no matter what.
On my last night drinking I couldn't remember getting to bed (a blackout drunk) and my husband had to take out my contacts for me. Don't get me wrong, drink has gotten me into much worse state and much more scary and degrading situations over the years.
I could have said or done anything that night and I wouldn't have remembered anything for 3 hours.
The next day I was too hungover and depressed to go to work. Lots of really dark things were going through my head and I knew that if I didn't do something about this I would go further and further into a very dark and scary place.
I blamed my drinking for many years on stress and anxiety. But the truth is that drink only added to this. It has done nothing good for me in my life ever.
I wish you the very best on your road to recovery. Keep coming back to SR and, I promise, you'll receive all the hope and support that you need.
Each day you will get further away from the darkness that brought you here today.