thanks to all!
MG ...
He understands finally that no one is going to go with him to Colorado and he is on his own on that. I found out they can give him pill form in Kansas so that isn't it.
He's been out for several weeks and is slipping into the depression and will probably have to have "shock therapy" for that. That's ok. and he can explore "other options" on his own.
His PSA level was down this last visit by a lot. (He shouldn't have any PSA level as he has no prostrate...but it indicates a slowdown on any growth/spread of the cancer).
The stress is off me about going to Colorado, he has accepted that I won't. The situation is tough, but the total freak out of being pressured is gone so now I just have to deal with the "normal" stuff of him being sick.
I truly do understand that he loves me and it is just the hard part of facing our death and being someone who really want's to use sometimes that twist things from time to time.
This issue may come up again, but thankfully in my family I think the bond of love has mostly been able to keep us together, but not bound us to sick behavior as strongly as it often can.
Actually my mom is the hardest to deal with (LOL). At least my brothers are pretty obvious which makes it a bit easier to deal with
I'm just glad things are a bit better as far as the pressure goes.