I know that in my experience, all of my outer judgment is driven internally. I know that I have to focus on not judging myself if I want to stop judging others; I saw this in myself very clearly a couple of years ago & it's still something that I wrestle with constantly.
For me, it's not even judgment once I focus it externally... it's more like validation for my internal judgment. Does that make sense?
I also have to be careful to not mistake Truth for Judgment. Am I just shaking my head at my friend, because I see her bigger picture better or maybe she's in denial? Or am I REALLY judging her in my head with a lot of "she should be doing this or that" or "wow, that's a mistake!"
A very close friend of mine struggles with a lot of recovery issues & dual diagnosis with her RAH. I've started to measure whether I'm judging her by examining the thought to see if it's something I'm willing to take to her about F2F. If so, not so judgey, but if not - I need to keep examining to figure out why I'm personalizing her situation.... because somewhere in there, I got triggered.