FWIW - I watch my boss just dissolve into self-induced busy work because she turns every molehill into a mountain. A few weeks ago we had a plumbing issue at the office that she spent 3+ hours on the phone trying to solve via the construction crew next door & the city's various depts. for sewer/water/irrigation. She was SURE this was the fault of whomever had been working outside close to our property the week before. All this before the plumber shows up & spends 10 mins determining it to be solely our problem, a common blockage. Service completed in about an hour. Or, a third of the time she spent running in circles & ignoring the HUGE pile of work she's been verbally stressing over for weeks. She spends far more time on creating processes than DOING them, more time planning than doing, more holding & waiting for the "right moment".... than LIVING in it because now IS the right moment.
She has a completely dysfunctional family, but no addiction that I can see in any way. But emotional neglect, awful communication, lack of any bonding, etc? Yes. She is like a screaming, red, flag for codependent behaviors in more ways than I can list here.
You know, sometimes a hidden blessing in all of this is how DD reflects my recovery back on me. When I see her act a certain way or use a tone or judgment that I KNOW she learned from me it's a wake-up call to change myself. I have to stay humble enough to see it & accept it & own my mistakes, but when I can manage that it brings me to amazing growth points. As I correct her behavior I have to verbalize that, "I know you learned this from me, but I'm going to change that behavior too because it's not right for these reasons ____..."
I am, in essence, re-living much of my childhood alongside (not through!) DD. As she hits milestones, I reparent my hurt, inner child through it emotionally too.