Zen, I can relate to your post and the comfort of Drinking - "coming home". But I also know that when I first relapse after some sober time , I do a lot of rationalizing and minimizing the effects alcohol has on me. Kind of sounds like maybe that's where your at too. I guess that's because the first night Two it's not "that bad" and kind of a relief from all the efforts of not drinking. Anyway, I know I always feel like as much as I regret every relapse, I try to think of it as another lesson learned to get where I need to be. Hugs to you
