Detachment
I am working on a committee to redesign our Al-Anon district website. While researching information to put on the new site, I came across this piece on detachment. I know may of us have had trouble with this concept, myself included so I thought I would share.
Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Separating ourselves from the adverse effects of another person's alcoholism can be a means of detaching: this does not necessarily require physical separation. Detachment can help us look at our situation realistically and objectively.
DETACHMENT ALLOWS US TO:
-Let go of our obsession with another person's behavior.
-Begin to lead happier and more manageable lives.
-Live with dignity, and rights, guided by a Power greater than ourselves.
-Love the person without liking the behavior.
IN AL-ANON WE LEARN TO DETACH WITH LOVE BY:
-Not suffering because of the actions or reactions of other people.
-Not allowing ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another's recovery.
-Not doing for others what they can do for themselves.
-Not manipulating situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink, or behave as we see fit.
-Not covering up for another person's mistakes or misdeeds.
-Not creating a crisis.
-Not preventing a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.
-Nothing we say or do can cause or stop someone's drinking.
-We are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it.
-By learning to focus on ourselves:
-Our attitudes and well-being improves.
-We allow the alcoholics in our lives to experience the consequences of their own actions.