Thread: I am new here
View Single Post
Old 09-12-2015, 08:14 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
tracey1234
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 10
I am new here

I have not seen my alcoholic boyfriend for 3 months. I am distraught but he has continued to drink after my telling him I can no longer compete with his drinking. It is so hard to accept that he has chosen to continue drinking even if it means the end of our relationship. He sees himself as not having a problem. He binge drinks and can go for months without really drinking..but when he does drink he cannot stop and usually ends up getting beaten up or arrested. I've heard that he is due in court at present and faces a prison sentence but still apparently claims to have no problem. His mother always bails him out etc etc and he has many loyal but toxic friends. He is unable to work or plan or tell the truth. I have felt constantly confused and abandoned. This has gone on for nearly ten years and I cannot go on with it any more. I'm ashamed to say I got to the point where I felt violent and was risking my already shaky sanity by seeing him. But I miss him every minute of every day. I loved him so very, very much but am coming to the conclusion that he didnt/doesnt love me. It is incredibly painful, especially as I get no feedback/"closure" from him...it is as if I no longer exist. I have considered taking my own life because of the emotional pain and complete loneliness I feel without him...unfortunately I have suffered from depression most of my adult life which makes things worse and is really nothing to do with him. I told him this many times and have never blamed him but he has made my depression worse and appears not to care..I get this feeling from his family and friends too...they are always on his side and say he will never change (they give him no reason to change and accept all and enable his drinking). Luckily I see a counsellor and attend al anon meetings but I am nowhere near accepting that our relationship may be over and that he will take no part in seeing what has gone wrong with us (him seeing his part in it). It is as if I have been erased for not being able to cope with his drinking.
tracey1234 is offline