I thank all of you for responding to me with your kind, gentle & wisdom filled hearts. I didn't text him. I said a prayer for his mother. I can never thank you all enough. When I posted the thread a few hours ago, my head & heart were in a vice. I ended up falling asleep & just woke up to read your excellent wisdom filled responses, thank you for coming to my rescue dear SR Angels. Thank you for the truth, you're all right & I feel strength from reading your responses. If it means anything in me turning away from him: I am happy I didn't reach out to him- is this a step in the right direction? It feels like it is. God bless all of you, you are all in prayers too. My God, thank you for the SR Angels! I feel better. Getting through another night feels good. Not getting my feelings stepped on feels even better. Now I understand why No Contact is so important. It's not for the A's in our lives, it's for our well being! Breakthrough !!! Right?? I feel so. A friend of mine (who is a recovering A) called me and said if he is still associating with his friends who all use/drink- don't think he got it together,---- more truth. Just wanted to send my heartfelt sincere thanks to all who responded.,thank you for being there for me. I love you all. Bernadette 💖