Originally Posted by
shil2587 
Yes, I can. Wow. I clearly have ALOT of work to do. I never equated how'sI about him with the way maybe he feels about alcohol. I don't really know what to do with that. I just know I don't want to leave yet. Too much hope still maybe? Fear of being alone? I need to think about this.
In order to have a healthy stable relationship,
both of you need to be stabilized first.
So working on your end of the deal IS investing in your relationship.
It's like a bridge that has to be anchored at both ends to work.
You can only make sure YOUR end is anchored securely.
That IS investing in building a stable bridge.
You can't worry about his end, you are in charge of your side.
the best way you can help him is by example, by taking 100%
responsibility for your things and not wasting a single brain
cell worrying what someone else is or isn't going to do.
If you act on the level you want to see in the relationship,
either he meets that standard, or he excuses himself and
opens the door for people who are responsible and support
you as friendships and relationships should be. They shouldn't
drag you down, but lift you up! It should be mutual, not this burden!
An investment in yourself IS an investment in stable relations in the future, with EVERYONE in your life, by taking care of YOUR side.
Keep up the good work, take heart, take courage in doing the right things, and take care. When you make the commitment to fix your problems, life will send you the support you need to do things right!