You still have an enormous amount of hope and promise Wendy
Unfortunately it looks like your addiction is not going to lay down quietly.
Sometimes the bottom line is fighting the craving to drink minute by minute until it passes.
When you feel like that - no matter what the time, or how hard it seems to do - do reach out here.
Even if it's reaching out to help others - you simply can't talk recovery without absorbing a little of it yourself.
I did that for so many days at the beginning...it was rough but I turned the tide.
You can too
D