Dating...
Hi all... Ive been away a while... Sorry... Just been tending to the girlies and living life and juggling stuff and well, just not here... But I miss the community and wanted to come back and chat...
So, Ive had an interesting go of it dating in the world with some recovery in my backpack... Notice I say some... Always a work in progress...
Sort of wondering if others have had the experience of feeling like you attract a "type"?
The "type" I seem to be attracting is a narcissistic, addict "type"... The two Ive dated in the last year both started thing off showering me with accolades and praise and putting me on a pedestal... Hello RED FLAG!
I cant say I disliked it but I for sure noticed that I was not comfortable and I distanced myself a bit and let them know each time, that I'm not perfect, had no desire to be and that I hoped we'd connect when things were good, not so great and everything in between.
Sure enough the instant the perfect glow didnt exist, they had comments and criticism for me.
Each time, (and Im proud of myself here) I explained that my desire wasn't to be a care taker, or reassure another adult nor did I need that from them and that it was fine that they needed that but that it wasn't me they were wanting to be with because I could not offer that.
Im finding that men Ive attracted in their mid 40's want one of two things: to relive their 20's or have someone who'll take care of them.
Im not a fan or attracted to either one.
And both men Ive dated in the last year had what I would define as definite addiction issues...
One seemed to think it was normal to drink 5 or 6 beers in a sitting (the day that happened, I said something and that was pretty much the beginning of the end) and the other announced to me after a month of dating, that he had recently begun smoking weed again after 2 years of attending AA meetings since he felt that he had been using it to cope and I hung around another month after that and was appalled by his classic addict behavior and that was that...
I am totally happy being alone but had met both men through different friends and enjoyed the company for a period of time... It just is disappointing that I seem to attract crummy guys...
Then again, if they're single there's clearly a reason... lol...
So, others of you in the same dating world post life with an addict... Weigh in... Similar experiences?