Anvil, that is a very sad story! You handled it incredibly.
Lexie, let me second the others who said you *will* look like an American tourist, so what? It's who you are.
I've traveled to Europe many times as my daughter lived in Paris for almost two years and has lived in Amsterdam for six or so years. (Not happy about it and she just had a baby but that's another story. She's quite happy.) Yeah, it's pretty easy to spot the Americans. I just try to not look like the *obnoxious* American tourists who dress inappropriately. Shorts, stretch pants and tennis shoes are not welcomed everywhere.
As time goes on I learn to pack less and less. It's okay to wear the same clothes, it's okay to rinse things out, it's awesome if you can find a way to do laundry. I also like buying clothes when abroad. It's fun, fits the weather perfectly and then you have souvenirs. Although I've bought some lovely stuff (like a nice scarf) that was perfect in cool and rainy Amsterdam yet rarely sees the light of day here in L.A. But, it's okay.
I'm going back to Amsterdam in a couple of weeks to meet my new granddaughter. My mom is coming too. I rented an AirBNB apartment for us that has a washer and dryer! So I'm going to attempt this trip with *no* checked baggage at all. We'll see.
Have a wonderful time!