Originally Posted by
FacingFuture 
So, day 2 here. Woke up feeling great. Then at about 9:00 my wife found a hidden beer can in one of our closets. It's like a landmine from a past drinking session where I blacked out. Lord knows when I put it there, but it started a major fight. She said that she has lost all respect for me, etc. I explained that that's why I quit, because I use drinking as a crutch for stress and anxiety and it's doing harm to me and our relationship... She still seems pretty upset. Can't win for trying. I'm worried that if I manage to get 2, 3, 4 months of sobriety in, that she's going to find some stupid can somewhere and we'll get in another fight, she won't believe me, etc...
FF...
You can't blame those who love you the most to lose a little trust. They are really hoping you mean it every time you say you quit. They desperately hope you're not lying every single time.
It's though because we, as alcoholics, have lied. A lot. We learned pretty quickly that we often get good results and get people off our backs of we gave them hope. We would give them hope that it's not as bad as they think. Or we would give them hope that we are done being irresponsible. We give them hope that we'll do our part.
It hurst every time we take that hope away. They become tired. Disappointed. They just roll their eyes when we say, "I want to be the man/women/husband/wife/father/son you need me to be. I'm sorry I let you down. But I PROMISE I'm going to be that person now".
Only to fail. As much as we may WANT to be that person, we fall right back to where we were. Hiding. Lying. Then we promise again. "this is it. I promise".
Those promises become harder and harder to swallow. So yeah....if she finds a can hidden two months from now...she's going to get upset. You can't blame her.
The only way out.....
Stop drinking. Period. That's it. Days later, weeks later, months later...maybe years later, she'll see that you stuck to your promise this time.
You CAN do it. It IS worth it. It's much better being a person people can trust. To be wanted, trusted, respected, loved. By our wives, by our children, by our family, and by our friends. It's MUCH better. It's what's really important in life. Nothing else really matters. But ya gotta earn it!
And YOY CAN DO IT!