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Old 09-04-2015, 02:26 AM
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dandylion
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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lizatola....I get what you are saying. I think you have made a couple of good self revelations.

One thing that you said just jumped out at me. You said that he "just isn't a communicator".....and, "that doesn't say anything about how he does or doesn't feel about you". Well, that m ay well be true. BUT, I think it does say something about how you may or m ay not feel about HIM.
Think about it this way....how much do you really, really want to be with a non-communicator type person? For the rest of eternity. If you basically need a communicator in your personal life...and, I think you do--from reading your posts for a few years, now....how much of your need are you willing to "stuff down" forever.
Communication is a big, big deal in relationships. How many millions of times do we hear this. How come most every marriage counselors l eads off with the need for "communication"?
I remember you writing over and over about the l ack of communication in your marriage.
Now, it is possible that because you have thonked him--he will pull it together for a period of time because h e wants to bring you over to his side for his own personal needs....but, if he is "just not a communicator", deep down...I dare say that it will fade out. He is what he is. You can't change him.

You have been out of your marriage for less than a year...and dating him for less than half a year. Everyone is still on their "best behavior"....wearing their red Sunday shoes. It is, still, very much in the "look and see" period of the relationship. Anything that is a real issue, now....will become a big issue later.
A relationship that meets your genuine, legitimate needs will leave you feeling more at peace and stronger...leaving you to become more of your own potential.
Not...anxious and wondering and plotting and "obsessing".

In other words, I am saying: "Don't settle".....just to feel more "secure".
You don't need to and you don't have to.

When you first met him...you said---"I am just going to enjoy the company...see how it goes...I'm not looking for a relationship or to get married".
LOL! I have the feeling that you may be decorating your future nest with him in your mind. (because that is what most of us women do).

I can remember posting to you that you ought to give about 18mo. to 2yrs. to see the true nature of your relationship together...especially, given your tendency to fit square pegs into round holes.

In this dating game....you have to be willing to throw back the fish if it is too small (doesn't fit your needs).

Sorry for this "come to Jesus" talk. I am not trying to rain on your parade or to be critical of either one of you. That is not my intention.
I just want you to keep your eyes wide open....and, don't EVER settle.

dandylion

***you can get any man you want.....
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