Snooz, you purge away your thoughts here. There's no shame in it, we've all had those crazy thoughts.
My last day drinking this year, I showed up for work hungover on a new contract ( still half drunk, to be honest). And that scared me. Because that's where I was on July 26, 2 years ago - how could I let the beast grip me so hard, yet again? Break down every scruple I'd built up in the past 2 years?
But that's how alcohol snuck up on us in the first place. You really are safe now, and I agree with Dee's post wholeheartedly.