Thanks V
Hi my lovely friends. I've had the call , now I wait. They have me on high priority so maybe in the morning hopefully .
I was very emotional speaking to Rita who said I need to get in sooner rather than later.
I'm going to be totally honest with my alcoholic thinking here and share it with you.
Even though I know I'm going in sooner rather than later part of me is grieving and wanting to get get in as much alcohol as I can as I know it's about to stop.
This is how sad this disease is . Even though I loved my sobriety , I'm desperate to have more before it ends.
It's pretty sad really isn't it.
I know when I am well again I won't believe I ever thought this way.
It's such an insidious disease.
I love you all very much and NEVER want any of you to ever feel as I do now. It escalates so dramatically there is no pause button.
Learn from me ....this is no fun ..it's totatlly exhausting waking up and wanting to drink.
I actually left my workplace at lunchtime yesterday to go and get a drink to settle me at lunchtime .
See it just gets worse and worse , that's why they call alcoholism a progressive disease ...it progresses into sheer hell ...don't be mistaken .
Lord just grant me some peace , please .