This approach worked for me in finally being successful in quitting smoking. Each time I started smoking again, I would soon miss being a non-smoker. I kept on quitting until I finally quit for good.
I used some of what I learned from that in trying to quit drinking for the second time around. I also knew it was important to not beat myself up, because guilt fuelled my drinking. I kept trying and trying over and over again.
The longest I lasted during this period was with the support of SR and I lasted 60 days.
After over 4 years of this, I finally accepted that what I was doing wasn't enough for me; I was too beaten down by all that trying. And more and more scared that it would kill me first. What finally worked for me was going back to my recovery meetings.