Originally Posted by fantail

I guess I sort of did... I went through a long period where I would relapse and quit again, and try to just see it as part of the process. It didn't work out very well for me. I found the relapses were much worse than my steady drinking had been... by the end of that time period they were hitting me like a train.

But no two people are alike! I was just giving up. It sounds like you in the past beat yourself up too much about relapsing and that lead to more relapse... so treating yourself with compassion sounds like a good idea to me. The only thing I'd suggest is to avoid convincing yourself that building a longer sobriety is going to require lots and lots of relapses. I met a very young guy in rehab who really, really wanted to leave. At one point he said, "This isn't the right time. Realistically, I'm not going to kick it right now. I mean, this is only my first rehab!" It scared me that because he knew so many people who'd been in and out of rehab for years, he assumed he'd need to do the same thing. He was convincing himself that leaving early and using again was just part of the process.