Thread: Forgotten Child
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Old 08-27-2015, 06:44 AM
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Payne
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 196
Forgotten Child

I'm the forgotten child, forever mired in the decisions of the sick person who made me. I am the child searching for their parents in a crowd of drunks, the child who knows more bar phone numbers than friends. I am the child who thought that screaming and breaking things was how marriages were run. I am the child who isn't sure if the amazing man who raised her is actually her father because her mother is not. I am the child who doesn't fit in with family but knows that no one else will be family until I make my own.

I am the forgotten child who receives advice; you had no parent so be your own. Leave the past in the past. One day at a time. Live and let live.

I'm the forgotten child who still wakes up screaming. Who dissolves into tears at the first sign of anger in myself. Who questions everything, constantly fearing who I will become.

I'm the forgotten child who overthinks, who consecutively over-feels and under-feels. I am the child who expects the worst but prays from the depths of her soul for the best.

I watch, I fight, I pray, I read, I reason, I try to breathe. Everyone has their cross to carry but mine was shoved into my body one splinter at a time. Someday I may remove all the splinters but with each piece I must rip my heart open and pull it out.

I'm the forgotten child, but I'm brave, I'm resilient, I'm kind, I'm patient, I'm generous.

I was born and raised a forgotten child, but as an adult I must become a parent, not only to my own future children but to myself.

I am the dual parent, I must teach myself how to love gently and kindly. I must teach myself how to be patient and trust. I must teach myself it's okay to cry. I must teach myself to breath. I must teach myself forgiveness is not only for others, kindness is not only for others, patience, support, friendship, love are not only for others they are for me.

I will do my best to not run from the good, from love, from happiness. I will embrace them, find them in every corner with a crazy smile on my face, I will put my face in the sun and close my eyes, feel the warmth of the world. I will float in the ocean, feel the comfort of gentle waves. I will trust the 'I love you's' of my loved ones, and remember that I deserve to love and be loved to care and be cared for.

I was born the forgotten child, but I will not live as one.
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