Liz, given this story about your fake profile and checking of his profile, it sounds like there is part of you that is genuinely concerned about why his profile is active. I agree with Lilliamy that the healthy, adult way to work through this concern is just simply to ask him. I'm guessing it might be an after-effect of your relationship with AXH that you feel you can't address problems and ask to have your needs met openly and honestly. And it might be easier to work through the ambivalence you're feeling about whether you even want to be committed to the relationship once this fear of yours has been addressed.