Originally Posted by
Butterfly 
Liz, how many times did you A tell you how he feels, what he would do to lose you, all the right words but never followed through with action? This guy seems to be showing you how he feels and wants. I get it you would love him to tell you but keep looking at his actions, I doubt if this guy didn't have feelings for you he would introduce his children and family to you.
Your doing so well managing your insecurities, me I let the craziness come out right at the beginning and the guy ran, your letting this guy get to know the real you and that's great, you should be proud of yourself.
I have to ask why would you think about ending something that is making you happy? What needs do you think he won't be able to meet in the future?
Thank you for the praise. I do work really hard to manage my insecurities, which actually aren't as bad as I thought they were. I have a lot of single male friends who have helped me see that they think this guy is lucky to have me and they've actually helped me find a lot of self confidence as I've moved into the single mom realm.
As for why I would end things. The biggest issue I have with him is that he still has his online dating profile up and still goes on and checks messages there, etc. We've never talked about it (in other words, I've let the issue slide because I wasn't sure in the beginning if I was ready to commit to a relationship with him anyway) nor have I confronted him about it but I find that it confuses me. Why bring me into your life, let me spend quality time with your kids, introduce me to your trusted circle of friends, and even crazy family too, if you're still keeping your options open or still 'advertising yourself' as available and single online?
My sister pointed out the fact that he has tons of pictures of his exwife up on his old FB albums, too (not sure why she was checking him out on FB, LOL). And, yes, I had asked him about that one and he said, "You know, I really need to take the time to get them off of there and download them to my computer so the girls can have the pics as I don't have them saved anywhere else." He's been divorced almost 3 years now!!! He also has 6000+ emails not deleted off his phone and has paper scattered all over his office and his car. His personality is what I'd categorize as the introverted thinking absent minded intellectual type. Always thinking, always working a plan for his business, but never looking around him at his details and other things that need managing. He has admitted to me that he sees big pictures but doesn't look at the details and that he relies on his administrative assistant for a lot of that stuff where work is concerned.
He's also really terrible about making eye contact which I picked up on from date number 1, lol. He can talk to you and then look away at something else while he's still talking. It drives me crazy. I have to literally get in his field of vision if I want to keep a conversation going with him if I feel it's important. Again, I just chalked that up to something that's not that important in the grand scheme of things and it doesn't bother me as much now as it did in the beginning. The man definitely lives in his head but we can sit and talk for 2-3 hours at a time when we spend quality time together.
Sooooo, there you have it. Good guy, has his quirks, but also has some failed relationships and a failed marriage behind him. We all have baggage, right. And, with all this said, my codependent crazies kick in and start creating scenarios and drama where there probably needn't be any. I'm truly trying to learn to live one day at a time and to take care of myself, to work my program (yes I work it harder now than when I was married to the alcoholic), to keep contact with program friends, and to make sure that I never lose myself in another relationship ever again.