I'm sorry, BFree.
It is vital that you express your frustrations and hurts in a safe environment. It is fatal to bottle them up and let them fester with no outlet.
The way I deal with it is to write it all down and unload it on the kind folks at SR (mainly in my class thread now--I definitely have done it on Undies, too). Many times just the act of sharing my feelings with others reduces a lot of the pressure and pain. Share exactly how and why you're hurting. Analyze yourself and then lay it out on here. It feels good to get it out with specifics.
And the kind responses when you are hurting plus the practical advice can really help in bringing you to a solution.
One trap you shouldn't fall for is "I can't post--I should be beyond this by now!" That's a lie. Nobody's ever beyond it.
Maybe you need face-to-face support, too.