You just basically described my marriage to my AW for the past 10 or so yrs. In the beginning drinking in moderation wasn't a big deal and then she didn't want to stop and took her anger out on me. Hiding, sneaking, defensiveness, blaming, all the typical ones. My anxiety was through the roof until I left. Unfortunately for me I never totally confronted my wife about sneaking drinks etc but I knew about it all along. My wife has done the same thing with sex after she's been drinking and then the next day would use that as leverage against me. "If you don't like me drunk then why did you have sex with me last night?" I heard it all. I truly feel for you in this situation as its not easy when your spouse has these issues. Listen to everyone here and take this opportunity to work on yourself. Stand your ground and listen to your gut. Set boundaries with her and stick to them. If it makes you uncomfortable, leave, but stick to your guns. It's something I wish I would have done. I also checked trash, looked in recycle bins and checked bottles to see how much was left. This helps no one. Use that time to work on yourself, which you can change. You will be in my prayers.... Keep posting here as well. There are kind strangers here that always seem to have wisdom about everything you ask.