Hugs, Jeni. He does not drink because you are not enough. He drinks because he is an alcoholic. For me, it was preferable to believe it was personal, because then I felt like I could control it somehow, if it was all about me and what I wasn't doing or saying right, then there was some magic formula of actions and words that I could figure out to affect the changes I wanted them to make. That kind of thinking twisted me up for many years and kept me from focusing on the one thing I *could* change: me.