Hi, I'm new here and just seeking the wisdom and counsel of those who have been where I am. My ex boyfriend is beginning his AA journey and has been trying for the past year to get help for his addiction to alcohol. We have been broken up for 4 months and a month and a half ago I started dating a really nice, great guy. Naturally, during our break up period my ex got sober for over a month and had a relapse a few weeks ago. He decided to do AA and wants me back. He's a great person and has been talking about being sober pretty much since we started dating over 2 years ago. It's only in the past year that he's slowly been taking steps toward an actual recovery journey.
The new man is wonderful and we have a lot in common. He doesn't drink at all by choice and has all the qualities any "smart" girl could ask for. What he lacks is the excitement my ex gives me, the ability to make me laugh the way my ex does, the ability to give me butterflies. Seriously, this guy is tall, handsome, educated, attentive, economically stable. My ex is all those things as well, except he's an alcoholic and has made me more miserable at times than I ever though humanly possible. I guess what I'm seeking here is to know I'm' not crazy for being so torn and confused. I want to do the right thing and choose the good guy, but my heart is not in it.
I also fear that if I choose neither I'll just end up back with my ex. I want his recovery to be successful and the best way for that to happen is for me not to be in the way. He feels differently, he wants to be a team and feels like I give his life purpose. Other than me he really doesn't have family and friends that support his recovery and I learned from a previous relationship not to force the issue. He's done this all on his own aside from asking me to be with him at his first AA meeting. Other than that, he's done all the work. Sorry this is so darn long. I'm lost!
