I'm sorry if my reply seemed harsh. It wasn't meant that way. Part of recovery is that everyone, not just the alcoholic, examines their choices and behavior. All I have to go on is your posts, but it seems like you married this man hoping that a small amount of sober time would change him into a different person than the one you've known for over a decade. I'm not trying to be mean, but in recovery we have to examine our own thought processes. It's not all about figuring out the alcoholic.