😎
I am trying to lose some excess weight so I won't go overboard on the food, lol! I am celebrating, though. I'm finding my mind wandering in thinking about my journey and all of the twists and turns. Within the past week I feel like I've reached a new level in my sober life. Since my last slip I've had meds available to block the effects of alcohol. By itself, I don't believe that the meds would have helped significantly. It's only by using them *after* everything else I have done that they helped me over that last hump. I no longer need them though I'll keep a few around As a security blanket.
Though it's impossible to rank order the things that have helped me to get to this point, some highlights: getting over (mostly) the feelings of shame about being an alcoholic; accepting that I simply cannot drink, ever again; thinking a scenario through to the end ahead of time; making sure I have support.
For example, here's how my thinking has evolved about an upcoming event (a wine and cheese party): I want to go for reasons *other than drinking* (if there weren't other reasons, I wouldn't go), I could take a pill an hour before it starts and then have some wine; hmmm, I would feel fuzzy, not buzzed and it wouldn't add to my enjoyment of the event; that doesn't sound like fun; hmmm, how would I feel if I skipped the pill and skipped the wine?; that would be much better! Ok, I know I can do this!
Taking meds has helped me to associate alcoholism with a medical condition instead of thinking of it as a moral failing. I don't think everyone needs this but since my gastric bypass, my ability to deal with alcohol has dropped into seriously negative territory. I wanted to share the thinking evolution I've gone through because for me that is the foundation of staying sober.