It's a hard thing to try to figure out , and what would be the best thing to do for your future . My parents were both alcoholics up until I was in my late 30's . They hit rock bottom & stopped .
After my divorce around age 40 my life kind of fell apart , kids were grown- on their own . I became alcoholic - Yes I fell into the same trap , I said I would never do
The more heavier I drank , the more I would think back of how bad my childhood was from their drinking .
I began to go visit them drinking & rant over the past . Run them down to dirt - plain nasty things. The things I said were true , but on the other hand . They both had a lot of health problems . Some days I would cry that they had gotten sick , other times I didn't care . Alcohol just had taken me over - I became mean & cold towards them . They had no one but me to help them . I couldn't - even help myself .
I practically stop all visiting because they never would let up about my drinking . My Mom became very ill a year before I became sober . She passed in the hosp. I never went to see her or go to her funeral
Now sober I truly regret , not doing the right thing . No matter what they still were my parents . Only thing that makes me fell some what better is I did sober up before my Dad passed & did what was right by him
Just thought I would tell you what its' like on the other side of the situation . Hope you can find some peace in what you do ..