Hi guys.....It's good to see you all doing so well. I failed big time today. I finally got a car yesterday, and I think the stress of that purchase contributed to it, but I've learned one thing....I am a full-on, no-holds barred, drunk. I finished my depo today and kept getting texts from my dear friend....."meet me at drago....they validate parking!"
So I thought, sure, I'll go there and have a diet coke! I'm sure you know how this ends already. He had a glass of wine waiting for me....I thought, what the hell, and took a sip. No big thing at first, but I finished that glass and the high was truly magnificent. I thought...what the hell, I've already blown it, so I'm planning in my head the whole time to stop on way home......so I stop on way home....not getting into the rest of the details because it just pisses me off.
It really astounds me because I see how productive I've been sober, and how much more I've billed out and the money I've saved, etc, but good god, it was like a goddamn switch going off in my head when I drank that wine......I thought I really had it this time. Maybe I need medication.
Sorry guys....didn't really feel like even looking at this site and certainly not posting about this but got a visitor message from Casey so here I am. Not sure what I will do next, but I know I'm not normal at all now...not even a little bit.