Just an update.....
First thx for all the replies here, I've learned a lot. I've also looked into moderation more and found some interesting things. There are studies that indicate that moderation is no better or worse that complete abstinence for controlled drinking.
Things have been very well over the past weeks, with no problems. We have made some progress in that we now openly discuss drinking together, and she is very receptive to my support, which is the best I can give. She has had a few drinks over dinner in the past few weeks, but a non issue.
I didn't not find any good support forums for folks that are doing moderation... if anyone knows of one, please pass it along.
Maybe one day she will quit in the future and that's fine with me, but has to come from her. I must admit, she is strong willed and will often accomplish some difficult challenges. Hope this is one of those.