BaB...
Sorry to read that you we're ill. I myself am recovering from surgery, and my mother passed away two days after that. So I can empathize with coming face-to-face with your own mortality.
And all of this was hidden under a veil of a professional, succeessful, seemingly confident, loving and charming facade. This time, I can see right through it and it only took me months - not years this time. Next time - I will see this on day one of meeting someone.
Well, this represents progress, doesn't it? You paid attention to your gut, it was right, and you cut the cord.
BAM!! Done.
What I encourage you to do is look at every event
sui generis. You've learned what you've learned, and put it into practice going forward...