Marcher, it's not surprising that you feel kind of meh (if I'm interpreting correctly). You've put so much of yourself into SR but right now you have other priorities. To me, you and Budd represent the essence of our group. You will get your mojo back though you need to be gentle with yourself and take the time you need. An accident like that is incredibly scary and, I think, reminds us of our mortality. With Mr M's heart attack, that whole thing probably packed even more of a wallop. (((Hugs)))!