Driver - glad to hear from you and sorry to hear you are struggling. I had to look up whippets too but then realized you were talking about huffing. You are a smart, witty dude that has always provided me with sound advice through your related experiences. I had a couple of friends in high school that were huffers and what I learned from them is that s*!t will dumb down your brain. It will slow your thought processes, your mechanics, your cleverness...it all becomes dull. I would hate to see that for you.
Do you watch the show Intervention? Some things happen and I realize I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I never watch that show, too depressing. But the other night I caught an episode that peaked my interest before I could find the remote. The dude was a huffer, computer duster if I remember correctly. It was really hard to watch. Even when he got clean he was just kind of "dead" in the eyes. I don't think it was a coincidence that I watched that show and here you are today...
We are substance abusers here. The specific substance doesn't seem to matter. Why are we using? What are we trying to avoid? How come "just one" or "every once in awhile" is not good enough for us? I don't know. I have done a lot of research into these answers for me. Knowing who I am and what makes me uncomfortable (I call those things my skin-peelers) allows me to identify my patterns of behavior that lead to that desire to escape, use...this helps me to know when to use the tools I have learned to make a change. Do something different. Maybe get a different outcome.
The other night my 17 year old hacked my facebook account and would not give me the password. I asked for it back nicely and she said she would give it to me for a thousand bucks. Before, I would have been so pissed and she would have gotten a nice earful of scathing words and creative name calling. That is my private info. Personal conversations with other people. 7 years of photos and memories! I was mad but instead of engaging in her drama I asked her nicely (several times) and just waited. I got it back about 12 hours later. If I had gone on a texting rampage calling her all the names I was thinking in my head I would have never gotten it from her. We would be fighting still. I did something different and got a better outcome. Anyway, I digress.
Glad to hear the babies are good! I hope you will stick around and let us remind you why you are worth the effort of not using that crap.
Missed you, pal.
XOXO