For me, maintaining the illusion that I can drink in moderation has been a huge problem. It doesn't help that on many occasions I've had an 'acceptable' amount of alcohol because it just feeds this idea. On many, many more occasions I have gone way too far, and it's caused a lot of heart ache for myself and others. The thing is that even when I do drink moderately I don't enjoy it because the AV is screaming loudly in my ear that I'm not drinking fast enough and that I want so much more.
Reading everyone's posts over the last couple of weeks has really helped to snap me out of this delusion. I'm finding one of the great things about this site is that it has forced me to confront reality. I just can't drink - period.
Welcome to all the newcomers and returners, and thanks for all the support here everyone.
Have a great day and cling tightly to that wagon :-)