Originally Posted by
SpiritOfDjinn 
Mystified, you are 100% right! I too hid things I didn't like about myself behind a glaze of alcohol. I came to find that the alcohol just compounded the problem by causing me to make even more poor choices. Plus, it never allows you to really deal with the feelings surrounding your flaws or failures. Everything just kind of snowballs into a mass of trouble and regret.
But that's all in the past. It's time to move on. The first step, after ditching booze of course, is to forgive yourself. That's very important! And, if you feel it necessary, ask those you've hurt or disappointed for their forgiveness as well. Once you forgive yourself, it frees your mind and heart to move on to bigger and better things.
Now, of course, feelings of regret and shame, or maybe even sadness, will come back. You just have to take them in stride. Life DOES get better.
Sorry folks, I seem to be rambling. Just trying to impart some of the things I've learned and experienced. Maybe someone can find some comfort or help in all that mess I just wrote. :P
Ramble on spirit. Everyone has something of value, something important to share.
I find peace and comfort everywhere on these forums and I've 'met' and talked to some amazing people. I found my tribe here.
I admire you spirit. You show so much care and compassion to those who post here. I value your presence and your input very much.
As for recovery, well I feel that quitting drinking/drugging/whatever is less than half the story. I've learned more about myself in the last 4 months than I have in 30 odd years. Therapy has helped with that somewhat but it's simply shone a light into places I hadn't fully acknowledged were there before. The real work, as you mention spirit, forgiveness, acceptance and regaining ones self esteem and worth begins AFTER you get sober.
I understand now why it's taken 4 or 5 tries to reach this point: it's bloody painful.
Now I'm rambling.
Keep on friends. Have an amazing day/evening/night.
