Frank, not to bear my soul here or anything, but I suffer from anxiety and depression. My dad was bipolar and my mom is always on the verge of hysteria so my gene pool is iffy at best. I take Lexapro and Lamictal and I take Restoril for sleep.
Yes, I'd rather not be taking any of this crap but I have found that it's necessary. And I hear you about the loss of creativity but you don't think I'm a zombie, do you?
Maybe just give the meds a try for longer than a few weeks. They could be the thing that gets you on the path of true recovery.
As always, my friend: (((((Hugs))))) Sleep tight.